I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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