Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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