I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
