ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You left your underwear on the fireplace
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
