Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
