Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I FOUND THE LEGS
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
