I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
