plz talk dirty to me
another moral hangover. fuck.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
