Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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