then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
