in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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