i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
