How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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