Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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