sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
