Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
