I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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