Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
