yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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