last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
