just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
