Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
and you fell through a lawn chair
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
