I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
