why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
