Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
