I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Damn victory sex feels great
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
