You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
