Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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