He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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