That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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