That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
