ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
