i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
