Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
