K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
kristin has been a bad kristin
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
