New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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