Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
