How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
