how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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