Need sex. Gaining weight.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
