just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
