Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
