I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
