That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
