U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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