from now on my penis is your penis
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
