I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
