Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
