Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize