I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize