please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
