Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
