I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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