we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize