I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
