i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
