so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
