Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
