Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
