Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
