He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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