I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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