I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Randomize
