That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
