i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
